I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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