Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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