What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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