i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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