Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
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I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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