I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
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Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
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Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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