fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
