It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
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i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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