Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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