Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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