What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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