12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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