we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
