what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Randomize
