Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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