he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
