Moan for me like Helen Keller
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
