need another drink. this is the easiest way
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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