Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I checked into jail on foursquare
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
