You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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