i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
