mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
