why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
