I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
