I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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