East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize
