This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
