Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
