i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
