Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
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I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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