A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
