Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
