I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
