Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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