Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
