is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
