It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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