its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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