I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery