the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for