Texts From Last Night

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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die

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  (321): well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die http://tfl.nu/56i7
  Replies (15) Good night (2543) Bad night (549)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.

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  (210): i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home. http://tfl.nu/eggw
  Replies (3) Good night (528) Bad night (2871)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.

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  (352): Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want. http://tfl.nu/d61s
  Replies (36) Good night (4604) Bad night (749)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.

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  (919): And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts. http://tfl.nu/x2s5
  Replies (18) Good night (4828) Bad night (781)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg

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  (630): I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg http://tfl.nu/sw6a
  Replies (15) Good night (1380) Bad night (4037)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college

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  (303): I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college http://tfl.nu/ihdi
  Replies (35) Good night (5042) Bad night (684)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.

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  (540): I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen. http://tfl.nu/c2d0
  Replies (14) Good night (5448) Bad night (858)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now

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  (403): I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now http://tfl.nu/plpv
  Replies (27) Good night (5186) Bad night (1326)
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  (716): View more from New York

  you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.

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  (716): you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out. http://tfl.nu/mu2i
  Replies (1) Good night (1358) Bad night (595)
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  (347): View more from New York

  Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!

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  (347): Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?! http://tfl.nu/ypzd
  Replies (2) Good night (1141) Bad night (531)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar

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  (651): I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar http://tfl.nu/y23q
  Replies (4) Good night (680) Bad night (317)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed

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  (716): I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed http://tfl.nu/55n0
  Replies (5) Good night (725) Bad night (357)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?

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  (801): What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE? http://tfl.nu/0e68
  Replies (2) Good night (584) Bad night (199)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore

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  (715): I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore http://tfl.nu/hhtw
  Replies (3) Good night (248) Bad night (404)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication

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  (508): I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication http://tfl.nu/sp6h
  Replies (1) Good night (473) Bad night (208)

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