We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex