dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i think i just lost a toe
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?