When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
