honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he wants to bone in the snuggie
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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