he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
