You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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