Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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