maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
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woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
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She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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