I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
