Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
