Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
