This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
