You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
