16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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