i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
