this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
