hotel room ftw
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
