Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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