There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
