Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
"it" just moved
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
