i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
