I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i used baking grease as lip gloss
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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