I wish I only lived at night.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
