We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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