My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
