All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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