If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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