so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
