I want to walk on stilts...naked
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize