i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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